Longggggg update...

Not been able to get on to Blogger for ages, so here goes:

Good Things:
Mum is going to see if I can go to slimming world with her and her mate.
Dad's gonna try and get the school to start a family package deal for the fitness suite.
I'm going to see Enrique Iglesias on the 19th of March (the day after my birthday!!!!)
I got to see 2 of my friend's 4 nephews on Tuesday, and yesterday (Friday).
A friend's on the prowl for parties, she's helping me find a boyfriend. :)
My sister's the best, I've got a whole load of beautiful skirts now! :D

Bad Things:
Sadly, this list is likely to be longer than the good one.
Last night (Friday night) at the bus station a girl (or maybe a monstrous hag?) accused me of stealing a fiver in the lady's toilets that she claimed to have left on the sink. She then tried to hold me hostage in the toilets until I gave her what I didn't have, tried to get Ian (he works there, cleans the place up) to phone the police and have me searched, and threatened to punch my lights in (only in nowhere near as polite a manner!). Ian thankfully held her back while I left the toilets. I have no doubt I would have missed my bus and quite possibly been left for dead if he hadn't done that, so I am EXTREMELY grateful to him! As for Christina...think I might avoid the bus station for a while now and go to the Longstone stop instead, simply because I'm not in the mood for all this drama.
About 6hours before the bus station drama I was nearly in tears with shock because someone fainted in RE when we were watching a DVD clip on Capital Punishment (it was a scene from Dead Man Walking). I have never been so scared IN MY LIFE. Apart from the bus station incident! But yeah, he fell off his chair and whacked his head and was lying there shaking for like 10seconds before springing up again as if nothing happened. I giggled to start with...but out of shock, not spite. I couldn't believe it happened.
I have a guy who likes me...this should surely be in the 'Good' category, right? WRONG. I don't like him back...and I don't know why I told him I did.
I've put on 3 pounds!!!!!!!!!
Mum had to phone the doctor the other night because I was in so much pain with my gallstones.
And a load of other stuff that's way too personal to post... <3

Meg xxx

Weight-gain & singing

Ok, so I haven't posted since before 2011 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!) but I do have a reason. I had a mate round. She knows about PT. She doesn't know my story and the extent of my relationship with it and its members. I gained 3lbs at least while she was here. She was here for 6 days! I had to eat loads, so she wouldn't suspect anything. So I'm back to a tight waistband. But not for long. I'm going to start doing 'The Plank.' I'll lose this weight again in no time!

On a lighter note, I've started singing again! Not great quality mind, but oh well! That's the beauty of not caring what others think, you can enjoy yourself. I love singing, so I do it even though I know I'll get crap. :) How about you guys? Do you sing? Or dance? Or draw? Or maybe even write? I love art, and I used to write non-stop! Well, gonna go do some planks (that sounds sooo wrong!) and tone this tummy. Doped up on Co-Codamol at the minute by the way. Gallstone troubles (as usual!). It doesn't take kindly to fasting.

Meg x

Camera-hog

Yeah, I hog the lens. Here's the proof. My home-made portfolio so far.

Fun? Yes. Good? No.

Well today has been fun. I've been on Facebook having a jokey argument with an old mate about football. I've chatted to my sister over in England who I absolutely LOVE to bits! Bestest sister EVER! I've practiced guitar until my fingers turned blue!

There's been one HUGE downside.

I've eaten a ton. Purging isn't working, and anyway, the last time I did that I puked blood and got an almost unbearable pain in my stomach.

I hope everyone else has had a better day!

I'm probably purchasing a little girl's CD. I did a singing competition ages ago, and she won her category. She's an amazing young girl, and she's entered BGT! She got through the auditions and is performing again soon in Manchester. Bless her heart eh? But yeah, I am definitely NOT going to exercise with her CD playing in the background! It'd feel wrong, a sweet little innocent autistic girl's CD playing in the background, whilst I'm serving Satan. Am I being stupid?

Meg x

Inconveniences

Writing this blog is becoming increasingly difficult! Mum keeps coming in and out of  the study, and I lose my train of though when I'm trying to switch to the facebook tab in a mad panic! Like just then, I was on facebook for a good 5mins because mum walked in. So I now draft my blog by hand in a jotter (nobody would think of looking in there, they think its my art and they know I'm self consious about that!) and when I have a free moment I type it up. So my blogs could be a day or so old before you guys get to read them. Sorry!

Meg x

Relating to Music

"I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give."

For those of you who don't know, this is a line from a song by a singer called Enrique Iglesias. He's sexy as hell, but sorry girls, he's married! But anyways, this song is called 'Do You Know' or 'Dilemo' in Spanish. Also know as 'The Ping Pong Song' :) And as I sit here sipping my Diet Coke, I'm finding myself singing this one line over and over again. And each time I do, I realise how much I can relate to it. If you listen to the song, it's totally relationship driven, and even though I've had my heart broken lately, that isn't what this line means to me. It's the one part of the song you can single out and give your own personal meaning.

I'm at the edge of my sanity and I don't know what else to give to Ana.

Am I going totally mad right now? Or for once are my insane ramblings holding meaning for people other than myself?

Meg x

Sonia

I don't know if that's a term ever used. But it's my name for Insomnia. Like Ana or Mia. Sonia is constantly keeping me awake. And now I think she's effecting my overall health. I've been getting the most awful pain in my eyes, and I know for sure my metabolism has slowed by 15%, easily. Anyone know any Insomniac support sites like PT? It'd be a great help. I remember reading a blog or forum post on PT about someone thinking about making one...be amazing if they do. There are so many girls I talk to who have the stress of an ED looming over them, and they have to deal with Sonia too. Sonia's been around for longer than the ED girls (Ana & Mia). They've been around since the 4th of December, the day of my first purge. Sonia's been around longer than that, she's been around for years now. How long have you been dealing with her?

Once again, my restrictions went downhill from the moment I woke up. If I was in recovery, I'd be doing so well right now. Sadly though, I'm not. I'm still overweight, and I've never experienced being underweight.

Meg x